At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
