no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
