It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
