Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I would fuck him just for his dog
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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