and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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