Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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