you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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