About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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