its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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