i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
