I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
