i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
