I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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