Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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