All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
