Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize