happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
