I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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