I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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