just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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