I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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