its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
