I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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