We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
