Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
