I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
