He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
