You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
