Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
