Will you blow on my dice?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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