I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
