I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize