I cockslap morals
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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