If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
