I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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