You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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