It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She told me I should be a condom model.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
