I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
