id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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