90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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