Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize