i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
