i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
