I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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