I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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