he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize