I smell stomach acid.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
