I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's never too late to be topless.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
