dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
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He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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