***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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