I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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