My hand turned me down
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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