she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
