Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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